Mental Load – Can we really delegate the problem away ?

Mental Load , we have all heard people talk about it but we never really speak about it out loud lest we seem like we are moaning or bashing our partners ( Which I am 100% not doing FYI ) When I talk about the mental load of women I do not mean basic house hold chores or child rearing , I mean life admin , thinking 10 steps ahead , planning for future events and the like . I did a little poll on my instastories during the week and the majority of Women do believe that they have the greater mental load in their homes , whether they work outside the home or within the home , I genuinely find this so interesting as I don’t believe that being organised or a planner is a trait solely held by women, so why don’t our partners carry the same load ? On a day to day basis I am constantly thinking ahead , do we need a card for the next birthday party ? Did we wash the sports gear for training ? Do we have someone to watch the kids for a few hours ? Oh we need to book a dentist appointment for child 1 and Dr for child 2 and so on and so on .I have read so many articles on how we should delegate these tasks but that would mean someone else would have to think about the things that need planning , to delegate means we are still thinking about them with the added burden of worrying if the delegated task will actually get completed , to me this would just add to the load I already carried and to be honest it would then just be easier to complete the task myself . I am a planner by nature and I have every appointment , school day off , party days and any other activity marked off on our family calendar , I do this in the hope that other people may go Oh we need a present or we need a sitter  and also because I have the need to offload my thoughts onto to paper to make room for all the other things that flood my mind on a daily basis , you know like how many loads of laundry can I possibly do , what baby has been fed , what meals do we need for the week ahead ! Another big issue which may arise from delegating tasks is the whole are of trust and I know I always have to verify that the task was done , this in turn is bound to cause an amount of friction ! I am very lucky in the fact that my husband does not need to briefed on how to feed his own children if I am away so that is one thing I never ever have to plan or think about it , this is a huge issue in some homes , so much so that when some women go to hospital to have their babies they had to plan and think about a weeks worth of meals for the kids at home because their husband ” would not think about it ” – Is the extra mental load something that can be eradicated by simply teaching and trusting our children with more tasks as they grow up so that in turn they would automatically think about and complete tasks when they are adults without prompt ? Are females taught more about thinking ahead when they are children or does this happen as soon as we start our own families ? I really do find this an interesting subject that clearly has a divisive element to it , many people argue that their partner is great at doing it all and that we are taring all with the same brush , but deep down they know that their partner will never think to clean out the fridge or buy the birthday cards without a prompt ! I really do not think there is a way that we can prevent women from taking on the huge mental load and life admin but as Geraldine at http://www.overheavenshill.com once said we have to lower our standards maybe in order to reduce the load , that lady speaks sense but I think the inner critic in me will never allow for that ( Though if you saw my house right now you would rightly think I had no standards ! )

So do you think delegation is the key ?

 

L xx

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